Let's get ready to jungle. Tears, testicles and tampons: I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here already looks like a winner, writes Jim Shelley

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is one of the great series – pure entertainment and perfect television.

But, bizarrely, it is also one of the few shows whose first episode is traditionally its worst. (With many dramas and comedies it is actually the best.)

To begin with, the opening twenty minutes are taken up with explaining who the ‘celebrities’ taking part actually are.

Tears: Alfonso Ribeiro is covered in scorpions during his first Bushtucker Trial

Dec described Alfonso Ribeiro with admirable exuberance as ‘an American sitcom star’ but most viewers under 30 will have still been none the wiser when they found out the sitcom was something called The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

 
As for the customary arrival, watching Chazz from Emmerdale jump out of a helicopter is just not as exciting as it sounds.

Finally, considering IACGMOOH is arguably ITV’s most popular programme, you’d have thought that the contest to determine which group of celebrities won the best camp could have been determined by something more dramatic than Joey Essex and Steve Davis orienteering.

Gradually though, the show got in to its stride with priceless soundbites such as Steve Davis shattering his reputation for being boring by declaring: ‘I can’t tie a knot. I can’t cook. I can’t do anything.’

Eschewing all the usual protestations about hating snakes and spiders, Chazz (Lucy Pargeter) topped even this with the revelation: ‘I don’t like going outside.’

Turntable of terror: Amy Willerton was beaten by Matthew Wright, who she thought might be an easy target

Of course it’s always hugely rewarding to see the likes of Matthew Wright crying and quaking in fear as he confessed: ‘I’m obviously...apprehensive.’

The sight of scorpions biting Americans, rats nibbling Kian Egan’s stubble or 10,000 cockroaches being poured over Not-So-Little Mo from EastEnders is irresistible.

But the beauty of I’m A Celebrity is really the one-liners that come out of nowhere.

Brilliant contributions from Pargeter included: ‘I don’t want to be Fatima Whitbread’, the observation ‘if something goes up your nose, it’s going to eat your brain’, and the impassioned insistence: ‘the word ‘celebrity’ literally makes me sick. I can’t stand media whores.’

And let’s face it, as someone who has appeared on such quality offerings as Soapstar Superstar and Stars In Their Eyes (as Emma Bunton), she should know.

Joey Essex – who will surely win – emerged as the unlikely James Joyce of the group when he added a new word to the English language by revealing: ‘I’m not a very confrontational person. I’ll only confrontate someone if it’s for a purpose.’

Quite right.

Resourceful: Rebecca Adlington uses a tampon to start a fire in Snake Rock camp

David Emanuel already has strong potential as a cross between another David Van Day and Paul Burrell, pompously talking about himself in the third person.

‘I can honestly say David Emanuel has never eaten crocodile fillet in his whole life.’

His awestruck description of the red camp as ‘almost like a real Disneyworld’ told us that he’s never been to Disneyworld.

But what episode one really taught us about David Emanuel is that when he gets into a phone box, there’s no room for anyone else.

Other surprise soundbites included Miss Universe GB Amy Willerton revealing ‘I love camping and being at one with nature’ - which will persuade most male viewers to carry on watching.

Westlife’s Kian Egan blithely declared: ‘there’s nothing that I won’t do. Put it in my mouth, chew and swallow it’ – presumably talking about insects and testicles (of kangaroos).

But the show’s best, most surreal, moment was an exchange worthy of the Chris Morris celebrity satire Brass Eye as the red camp struggled to get their campfire alight.

This saw Rebecca Adlington ask the immortal words: ‘Can I set my tampon on fire ?’ – a question answered by Joey Essex deciding ‘I think we should go for the fluffy end.’

David Cameron’s Olympic legacy had been distilled into one beautiful image.

At that point you knew, I’m A Celebrity was up and running and going to be as great as ever.

Monday Night Takeaway: Joey Essex was comforted by Laila Morse after finding out he would face the next Bushtucker Trial with Matthew